The kale turns darker after slow cooking, but still retains some of its purple tint.

It’s not everyday you cook a lawn ornament. It’s been centuries since anyone actually spit-roasted a flamingo, and most other yard decorations would resist any type of cooking method imaginable. Spaghetti and gazing balls, anyone? What about a ragout of concrete St. Francis? Does anyone know what oven temperature to use for two-frogs-on-a-loveseat?

Nope, ornamental cabbage is the only lawn decor I’ve ever heard of that makes a good meal. That’s because those ornamental cabbages you see lining the lawns of the Ladies’ Horticultural Society members’ homes are masquerading under an alias. Their real name is kale.

Even the core looks pretty.

Ornamental kale is every bit as edible as regular ol’ kale (they’re not trying to trick you  by putting it in the produce section.) It’s not only a tasty variety of leafy greens, but it’s spectacularly beautiful to cook and work with. The purple flowering kale I bought may have been cheap, but it could practically be a work of art.

I’m considering using a head of kale as a wedding bouquet –it’s that lovely. It reminds me of some kind of exotic sea creature, like an anemone, with its mass of purple stems like undulating tentacles.

Kale leaves, ready for the slow cooker.

In the South, most greens are cooked with a chunk of pork fat or a smoked turkey wing, and that’s dandy. All greens taste better with a bit of seasoning. But, try cooking a pot of kale in your slow cooker with Mediterranean-style seasonings and you may never look back. Olive oil, balsamic, and some fresh garlic are really all that’s needed to bring the kale to the height of its flavor.

Some may find kale to be too bitter, and it is one of the more bitter types of greens. For those who enjoy a peppery bite, though, they’ll enjoy the pleasant pungency. A quick blanching before tossing in the crock-pot removes the harshness of the bitter taste, leaving just enough to add a kick.

Blanching the kale leaves before tossing in the crock-pot.

Slow Cooker Flowering Kale Recipe

Ingredients:

2 bunches kale
1/2 large red onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
Salt and ground pepper to taste
Dash red pepper flakes
1 tsp balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp olive oil
2 cups vegetable broth

Directions: Bring a pot of salted water to boiling and add kale. Boil for 3-6 minutes, just until wilted to reduce bitterness. Drain and cool. Tear leaves into bite-sized bits, being careful to remove the thickest part of the stem. Combine kale and other ingredients in the crock of your slow cooker. Cook on low for 4-6 hours or more, or cook on high for 2-3 hours or more. Longer cooking makes the kale more tender.

Serve kale as side dish with any Southern-style or Mediterranean-style meal. And stay tuned, because you’ll love what I did with the leftovers.

Tip: Buy your own kale, no matter how tempting old lady Wanklestein’s looks in her front yard. The old biddy’s got the cops and the neighborhood association on speed dial.

That’s an undeserved fate for the zesty Arabic dip, which is just as tasty as hummus, and, thanks to the fact that it’s made mostly of eggplant, much lower in calories. I suspect the reason a baba gaboush recipe isn’t in the repertoire of as many people is simply because it takes longer to prepare.

Roasting an eggplant is a lot to ask of a busy girl compared to, say, throwing chickpeas in a blender and bzzzt-ing it for 45 seconds. Now, thanks to the slow cooker, prepping an eggplant for a baba ganoush dip is a walk in the park with marshmallow shoes on.

I had never tried cooking a whole eggplant in the slow cooker before, so I’m pleased to report that I got it right on the first try. It cooked more thoroughly than I’ve ever experienced with oven-roasting –the eggplant always seemed smooshy in parts and uncooked in others. The crock’s steam allowed for completely even smooshiness.

The result: the best baba ganoush I’ve ever made. No lie.

Baba Ganoush With Slow Cooked Eggplant Recipe

1 whole eggplant
2 cloves garlic
1/4 cup sesame tahini
2 tbsp olive oil
Juice of 1 whole lemon (about 2 tbsp)
Salt and pepper to taste
Paprika, parsley, and Greek olives to garnish (optional)

Directions: Slice eggplant in half lengthwise, prick skin with a fork, and place in crock of your slow cooker, skin-side down. Replace lid and cook on high for 2 hours. Let cool. When eggplant is cooled, remove pulp and place into a bowl. Set aside. Place remaining ingredients in a food processor and blend well (you can also mix it thoroughly by hand, but mince the garlic first). Stir the mixture into the eggplant until well combined. Garnish and chill until serving.

Tips:

You’ll often see baba ganoush or eggplant served with additional olive oil on top. I learned from a Lebanese cook that the olive oil is a traditional addition that hearkens back to the days before refrigeration, when the dips would be stored in crockery. The olive oil prevented the food from drying out in the hot Middle Eastern sun. You’ve got a refrigerator, right? Skip the extra oil!

Serve with sliced pita bread, or if you’re in a time crunch, pita chips from a big ol’ bag.

A lot of recipes call for the eggplant to be food processed as well. Resist the temptation. Stirring it by hand ensures a thick, well-textured dip that the pureed version doesn’t hold a candle to.

Baba ganoush is back. Take her out to your next party. She’ll be the one everyone raves about.

Despite appearances, not a crustless quiche. Nuh-uh.

Everybody sing: “You say po-tay-to and I say po-tah-ta. You say strata, and I say frittata.”

Strata? Frittata? Eh, let’s call the whole thing off. Most people just say quiche anyway.

“Crustless Quiche” pops up in a lot of cookbooks and online recipe collections. However, if you take a look at the definitions of traditional egg dishes, you’ll see that the definition of a quiche usually presumes a crust or shell. The frittata, on the other hand, the Italian version of an omelet, is cooked on the stove until nice and puffy, then finished off in the oven and served without being folded over (because that would be an omelet.)

So, though you can call it whatever you like, I say: If you’ve got a round egg dish filled with ingredients, and it doesn’t have a crust, what you’ve got there is a frittata.

If you’ve ever made a quiche, frittata, or any other egg casserole in the oven, then you know how prone they are to drying out. Sometimes in order to get the middle to set, you’re forced to overcook the outside. In the slow cooker, though, the low, even heat keeps the eggs moist and fluffy, like the best scrambled eggs.

Preparing one is easy-peasy. Chop a few odds and ends, whisk some eggs, then let the slow cooker do the work. In fact, if you’re too busy to do the chopping, there are plenty of things you can toss in the crock as is: whole spinach leaves (they’ll soften up just fine) or pre-shredded cheese, for example.

This frittata is a riff on Greek food, and it’s just loaded up with good stuff. Spinach is used so much in quiche-like dishes that I nixed it this go-around in favor of colorful, savory fresh herbs, but by all means, spinach it up if you want.

You can also go nuts and use real cream. I’m a fan of evaporated skim milk, because it is thicker than regular skim, has no fat, and keeps in the cupboard so it’s always on hand. If you noticed I didn’t include salt, that’s because both the olives and the feta have plenty. You won’t miss it.

Slow Cooker Mediterranean Frittata Recipe

1/2 tbp olive oil or non-stick spray
1/4 cup kalamata olives, roughly chopped
1 cup roasted red peppers, well drained and roughly chopped
1 cup feta cheese, crumbled
1 clove garlic, minced
2 tbsp plain yogurt (preferably Greek-style)
1/4 cup evaporated skim milk
9 large eggs
Ground black pepper
1/4 cup fresh basil, roughly chopped (or whole leaves if using small-leaved basil)
1/4 cup flat-leaf Italian parsley, roughly chopped

Directions: Spray or coat slow cooker well with oil. In the bottom of the crock, place the olives, red peppers, feta, and garlic in layers (they will rise during the cooking and distribute themselves equally). In a separate large bowl, combine the yogurt, milk, and pepper, and whisk very well, until good and frothy. Pour egg mixture over the ingredients in the crock, then top with basil and parsley. Cook on high for 1 hour and fifteen minutes, or low for 3 hours. Be sure the center is set.

When center is set, run a knife around the edge of the frittata and slide it out onto a plate. You can also slice the frittata into wedges while it is still in the crock and remove them one by one with a spatula, which takes longer, but ensures it doesn’t fall apart.

The texture of these eggs is dreamy: moist, steamy, and somehow buttery. I served the frittata for dinner with pita bread and a yogurt cucumber raita. For a quicker service, serve with pita bread and a spinach salad-in-a-bag.

Yogurt cucumber raita, loaded with garlic and dill.

On a lazy morning, zip this one into the slow cooker and climb back into bed to awake to a savory brunch that anyone else in the house will think appeared by magic.

And if anyone dares call it a “crustless quiche,” send ‘em to me.