The everything bagel: mysterious origins? (niznoz/Creative Commons)

Who knew that the bagel with multiple toppings –AKA the everything bagel– is a source of such controversy? At least, the credit for its invention is.

David Gussin, a New Yorker who worked in a bakery in 1980, claims he invented the everything bagel in a burst of inspiration while sweeping out the oven, reported the New Yorker. One day, when cleaning out the charred pieces that had fallen off the bagels –poppy seeds, sesame seeds, salt, etc.– he had an idea.

He made a suggestion to his boss: ‘Hey, Charlie, instead of throwing them away, put this on a bagel and call it the “everything.”‘ Apparently Charlie complied, because Gussin says customers went crazy for ordering it, and a legend was born.

Or was it?

Not true, says marketing guru Seth Godin via his blog, remembering baking everything bagels in the bagel factory where he worked back in 1977. He also says that the seed-sweeping story is “crazy” –that the oven sweepings would be too incinerated to use to top a bagel.

Gussin persists anyway, and has added a line to his website that says “It was the late 1970’s, possibly early 80’s,” moving up the date a bit and building in some flexibility. He’s upset at Godin’s suggestion: “[The bagel] brings smiles to people’s faces. It doesn’t deserve controversy. It’s a nice thing.”

As for me, I’m on the side of an Internet commenter who asked: “Are we really to believe that the world waited until 1977 for the invention of the everything bagel? Somebody’s grandfather in Warsaw is going to be getting a phone call soon.”

The everything bagel is most likely a case of what is known in the trademark world as “simultaneous invention,” that is, something that more than one person came up with around the same time. How could anyone working in a bagel bakery not think of combining the toppings?

It’s like making a suicide at the soda fountain. How many gajillions of twelve-year-old boys can claim they invented that?

Smoked salmon in a cream cheese-y, garlicky sauce.

The everything bagel, regardless of how many people invented it, was my inspiration for this creamy pasta sauce. It has everything I love about bagels: cream cheese, smoked salmon and plenty of garlic, for starters.

Make it even more everything bagel-like by adding more of your favorite bagel toppings. I used poppy seeds, but feel free to add a dusting of sesame seeds, sea salt, or extra bits of roasted garlic.

Slow Cooker Everything Bagel Pasta Sauce

Ingredients:

8 oz. cream cheese, cut into small pieces (regular or reduced fat)
4 oz. smoked salmon, flaked
2 cloves garlic, minced
Ground black pepper
1-2 green onions, chopped
1 1/2 cups milk
1 tsp. poppy seeds

Directions: Combine first six ingredients in the crock of your slow cooker, stir well, and cook on high for one hour or low for two hours. (For this recipe I used my Rival 1.5 quart mini, which does not have settings. It’s either on or off. It was ready and bubbly hot after about one hour.)

Serve over cooked pasta of your choice; sprinkle with poppy seeds.

If you or someone you know came up with an everything bagel pasta sauce before me, call the New Yorker. We can have a big ol’ Internet feud and rack up some page views.

Risotto in a slow cooker? Prepare to faint.

Risotto is a simple rice dish at its most basic, but its elaborate cooking procedure requires nano-second timing and perpetual stirring that can wear out even an Incredible Hulk-sized bicep before the rice is even half-cooked.

That may be why restaurants pride themselves on their ability to turn out perfect risotti, and also why Hell’s Kitchen contestants have more trouble cooking a risotto than with any other single dish. While the chefs manage  perfectly-done Beef Wellingtons by the dozens and torch creme brulees shoulder-to-shoulder in the world’s most chaotic kitchen, it’s the rice that brings the contestants to their knees.

I’ve frequently joked that the dumpster behind the Hell’s Kitchen restaurant is probably mostly loaded with trash bags bursting with risotto, as I’ve seen chef Gordon Ramsay dump out pan after pan of the contestants’ poorly cooked rice dishes.

Rice can be tricky in the slow cooker too, but with just a little hands-on work –considerably less than with a traditional risotto, but more than some slow cooker recipes– you can turn out perfectly-textured rice. Part of the trick is to use converted rice (quick-cooking rice), which may irritate purists who insist on Arborio for risotto, but they’ll already be popping a vein that you’re using a crock-pot anyway.

Placate the snobbish by calling it something else: steamed rice should chill them out, but it’s an awfully mundane name for a dish that’s proof that epicurean results can come out of the slow cooker. You could also consider this a sort of sublime tuna casserole, elevated to its highest form.

Whatever you call it, prepare for a creamy-textured rice dish that’s a slow cooker quickie with just an hour of cook time.

Slow Cooker Risotto with Fresh Tuna and Basil Recipe

Ingredients:

2 Tbsp melted butter
2-3 green onions, chopped
3 cups very hot vegetable stock
1 cup uncooked converted rice
1/2 cup white wine
Freshly ground black pepper
1 lb. fresh tuna, cubed
1/4 cup snipped fresh basil

Directions: Combine butter, onions, stock, rice, wine and pepper in the crock of your slow cooker and stir. Cover and cook on high for 45 minutes. Remove lid and stir in tuna, then cook for an additional 15 minutes, or until tuna is just cooked. Turn off the slow cooker and let sit for five minutes. Remove lid and stir in basil. Fluff with a fork and serve immediately. Serves two.

Tuna risotto makes a light supper-in-a-bowl for two, or you can serve it to four as a starter or side dish.

Perhaps someday you’ll be a contestant on Hell’s Kitchen. I can’t wait to see the string of curses Chef Ramsay unleashes when you produce your crock-pot. But the proof is in the pudding, or in this case, the risotto.