Shirred, poached, or twurbled, the eggs are cooked just right.

There are so many words for cooking methods, it dizzies the mind. We steam, stew, coddle, sear, and roast. We do so many ‘B’ things, it could be a tongue-twister: Barbara boiled, brined, basted, breaded, browned and baked a blackened bird. We even use some verbs for cooking that seem to have no place in the kitchen, such as plank and sweat.

The one cooking term that has caused me the most recent befuddlement is shirr. I always try to use the correct term for my slow cooker recipes, which leads to some difficulty. Baked potatoes aren’t technically baked in the crock-pot, so what are they? Steamed potatoes doesn’t sound so lip-smacking (even though the result is divine.) The best fall-back is often to just call a dish slow-cooked.

When I decided to try poaching eggs in the crock-pot, I checked first to make sure poached would be the right term. Eggs are usually poached directly in water, but sometimes in a poaching device that allows them to steam. Turns out, some folks think the second way isn’t technically poaching, but steaming.

Shirred eggs, on the other hand, are cooked in ramekins with a slosh of cream and a sprinkling of breadcrumbs, and I wanted to slow cook my fresh eggs in ramekins. However, most definitions of shirr seem to specify baking. But here’s where it gets weird: the definition specifies that to shirr means to bake eggs.

That is, eggs specifically. Think about that for just a second. When you bake an egg, it gets its own word for baking. We don’t make shirred tuna casserole or shirred Alaska. This makes my head hurt. Why does one food gets its own word for being baked in the oven? Why don’t we call the process of baking potatoes shmootzing? Why don’t we twurble a pan of ziti? Who makes this stuff up?

Back to the eggs. You can call them poached if you want to, and the result is the same. The heat from the steam cooks them perfectly and keeps them from drying out, so you don’t need the cream, which is usually added for just that purpose. You can, however, use a spoonful of pesto, olive tapenade, salsa, sundried tomatoes, or whatever floats your breakfast boat.

Do be certain to cook these on high and add boiling water at the beginning. This raises the temperature quickly when you replace the lid, making sure that the eggs are cooked safely.

Slow Cooker Poached Eggs with Pesto Recipe

Ingredients:

2 fresh eggs per ramekin (most average slow cookers will hold about four ramekins)
1 tsp pesto per ramekin
Fresh black pepper
2-3 cups boiling water

Directions: Spray ramekins with non-stick spray and crack two fresh eggs into each. Swirl a teaspoon or so of pesto into each dish and top generously with black pepper. Place ramekins into the crock of your slow cooker and carefully pour boiling water around the dishes. Make sure the ramekins are submerged at least a third of the way into boiling water. If not, add more. Cook on high 30 minutes to one hour, depending on how well you want the eggs cooked. (1 hour will result in the centers being cooked through. Half an hour allows for a runnier yolk.) Slide eggs gently out of ramekins to serve, or serve in the dish after cooling slightly (ramekins will be hot.)

Serve with toasted French bread. What the heck, let’s call it shirred French bread.

Despite appearances, not a crustless quiche. Nuh-uh.

Everybody sing: “You say po-tay-to and I say po-tah-ta. You say strata, and I say frittata.”

Strata? Frittata? Eh, let’s call the whole thing off. Most people just say quiche anyway.

“Crustless Quiche” pops up in a lot of cookbooks and online recipe collections. However, if you take a look at the definitions of traditional egg dishes, you’ll see that the definition of a quiche usually presumes a crust or shell. The frittata, on the other hand, the Italian version of an omelet, is cooked on the stove until nice and puffy, then finished off in the oven and served without being folded over (because that would be an omelet.)

So, though you can call it whatever you like, I say: If you’ve got a round egg dish filled with ingredients, and it doesn’t have a crust, what you’ve got there is a frittata.

If you’ve ever made a quiche, frittata, or any other egg casserole in the oven, then you know how prone they are to drying out. Sometimes in order to get the middle to set, you’re forced to overcook the outside. In the slow cooker, though, the low, even heat keeps the eggs moist and fluffy, like the best scrambled eggs.

Preparing one is easy-peasy. Chop a few odds and ends, whisk some eggs, then let the slow cooker do the work. In fact, if you’re too busy to do the chopping, there are plenty of things you can toss in the crock as is: whole spinach leaves (they’ll soften up just fine) or pre-shredded cheese, for example.

This frittata is a riff on Greek food, and it’s just loaded up with good stuff. Spinach is used so much in quiche-like dishes that I nixed it this go-around in favor of colorful, savory fresh herbs, but by all means, spinach it up if you want.

You can also go nuts and use real cream. I’m a fan of evaporated skim milk, because it is thicker than regular skim, has no fat, and keeps in the cupboard so it’s always on hand. If you noticed I didn’t include salt, that’s because both the olives and the feta have plenty. You won’t miss it.

Slow Cooker Mediterranean Frittata Recipe

1/2 tbp olive oil or non-stick spray
1/4 cup kalamata olives, roughly chopped
1 cup roasted red peppers, well drained and roughly chopped
1 cup feta cheese, crumbled
1 clove garlic, minced
2 tbsp plain yogurt (preferably Greek-style)
1/4 cup evaporated skim milk
9 large eggs
Ground black pepper
1/4 cup fresh basil, roughly chopped (or whole leaves if using small-leaved basil)
1/4 cup flat-leaf Italian parsley, roughly chopped

Directions: Spray or coat slow cooker well with oil. In the bottom of the crock, place the olives, red peppers, feta, and garlic in layers (they will rise during the cooking and distribute themselves equally). In a separate large bowl, combine the yogurt, milk, and pepper, and whisk very well, until good and frothy. Pour egg mixture over the ingredients in the crock, then top with basil and parsley. Cook on high for 1 hour and fifteen minutes, or low for 3 hours. Be sure the center is set.

When center is set, run a knife around the edge of the frittata and slide it out onto a plate. You can also slice the frittata into wedges while it is still in the crock and remove them one by one with a spatula, which takes longer, but ensures it doesn’t fall apart.

The texture of these eggs is dreamy: moist, steamy, and somehow buttery. I served the frittata for dinner with pita bread and a yogurt cucumber raita. For a quicker service, serve with pita bread and a spinach salad-in-a-bag.

Yogurt cucumber raita, loaded with garlic and dill.

On a lazy morning, zip this one into the slow cooker and climb back into bed to awake to a savory brunch that anyone else in the house will think appeared by magic.

And if anyone dares call it a “crustless quiche,” send ‘em to me.