The everything bagel: mysterious origins? (niznoz/Creative Commons)

Who knew that the bagel with multiple toppings –AKA the everything bagel– is a source of such controversy? At least, the credit for its invention is.

David Gussin, a New Yorker who worked in a bakery in 1980, claims he invented the everything bagel in a burst of inspiration while sweeping out the oven, reported the New Yorker. One day, when cleaning out the charred pieces that had fallen off the bagels –poppy seeds, sesame seeds, salt, etc.– he had an idea.

He made a suggestion to his boss: ‘Hey, Charlie, instead of throwing them away, put this on a bagel and call it the “everything.”‘ Apparently Charlie complied, because Gussin says customers went crazy for ordering it, and a legend was born.

Or was it?

Not true, says marketing guru Seth Godin via his blog, remembering baking everything bagels in the bagel factory where he worked back in 1977. He also says that the seed-sweeping story is “crazy” –that the oven sweepings would be too incinerated to use to top a bagel.

Gussin persists anyway, and has added a line to his website that says “It was the late 1970’s, possibly early 80’s,” moving up the date a bit and building in some flexibility. He’s upset at Godin’s suggestion: “[The bagel] brings smiles to people’s faces. It doesn’t deserve controversy. It’s a nice thing.”

As for me, I’m on the side of an Internet commenter who asked: “Are we really to believe that the world waited until 1977 for the invention of the everything bagel? Somebody’s grandfather in Warsaw is going to be getting a phone call soon.”

The everything bagel is most likely a case of what is known in the trademark world as “simultaneous invention,” that is, something that more than one person came up with around the same time. How could anyone working in a bagel bakery not think of combining the toppings?

It’s like making a suicide at the soda fountain. How many gajillions of twelve-year-old boys can claim they invented that?

Smoked salmon in a cream cheese-y, garlicky sauce.

The everything bagel, regardless of how many people invented it, was my inspiration for this creamy pasta sauce. It has everything I love about bagels: cream cheese, smoked salmon and plenty of garlic, for starters.

Make it even more everything bagel-like by adding more of your favorite bagel toppings. I used poppy seeds, but feel free to add a dusting of sesame seeds, sea salt, or extra bits of roasted garlic.

Slow Cooker Everything Bagel Pasta Sauce

Ingredients:

8 oz. cream cheese, cut into small pieces (regular or reduced fat)
4 oz. smoked salmon, flaked
2 cloves garlic, minced
Ground black pepper
1-2 green onions, chopped
1 1/2 cups milk
1 tsp. poppy seeds

Directions: Combine first six ingredients in the crock of your slow cooker, stir well, and cook on high for one hour or low for two hours. (For this recipe I used my Rival 1.5 quart mini, which does not have settings. It’s either on or off. It was ready and bubbly hot after about one hour.)

Serve over cooked pasta of your choice; sprinkle with poppy seeds.

If you or someone you know came up with an everything bagel pasta sauce before me, call the New Yorker. We can have a big ol’ Internet feud and rack up some page views.

Red peppers give the dip a rosy hue instead of the usual greenish one.

The timing was perfect for a girls’ get-together. My friend Laurel was still dewy from her recent wedding –a lovely outdoor affair with colorful parasols for guests and big poufs of paper flowers– and anxious to show off her new wedding gifts, which included a slew of artsy tableware.

My friend Jessica was turning 30, and we knew she needed comfort, seeing as how she’s just one calcium-deficient step away from support knee-highs and bingo nights. The rest of us? We just needed a drink. Like I said, the timing was perfect.

Turning 30 means seeking solace in a whole crock of artichoke dip. It works! Solace achieved.

The choice to keep the dudes at home was a stroke of genius. Parties are always a little bit wilder without the men putting a damper on things. We were free to talk (discussion topics included selling panties on the Internet and how –or if– one’s Barbies had sex) and generally carouse.

Laurel served up a drink concoction that was suited to the hot Southern summer: lemon vodka, seltzer, fresh mint from the garden, and a scoop of sorbet (choice of coconut, pomegranate, or lime). She also made a crazily addictivetapenade with figs, kalamata olives and a third ingredient I’ve forgotten (pine nuts?). I’m a sucker for the combo of salty and sweet.

She chopped up a cool dish of fresh cucumbers, lime juice, and salt (an easy-peasy side I need to remember), and someone brought a gorgeous cake that looked like Neapolitan ice cream.

Leave it to me, in the midst of all the perfectly light, summery food, to be the one to drop the fat bomb.

"Ho-hum," says Susan. "I'll try some dip, but it doesn't look worth letting go of my flask."

With a lot of imbibing (and the aforementioned carousing) going on, it’s good to have something to soak up the liquor. I made a double batch, almost half a whole crockpot, thinking it might be too much, and all but a dab was gone by party’s end.

"God? Is that you?"

The red peppers and sharp cheese give this crockpot dip a kick that’s missing from some artichoke dips, and most taste-testers appreciated the departure from the ubiquitous spinach/artichoke combination. It’s always better hot, and the slow cooker kept it nice and warm all night.

Slow Cooker Artichoke Dip with Roasted Red Peppers Recipe

2 9 oz packages of frozen artichoke hearts
1 12 oz jar marinated artichokes, drained and some liquid reserved
2 8 oz packages of cream cheese, softened
4 green onions, chopped
1 cup shaved Parmesan cheese
1/3 cup grated extra-sharp Cheddar cheese
1/3 cup roasted red peppers, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
Juice of 1 whole lemon (about 2 Tbsp)
Splash of reserved marinade
Dashes of hot sauce, to taste

Directions: Combine in crock of slow cooker and mix to combine. Cook on low for 2 hours or high for 1 hour. Switch to warm setting and serve directly from crockpot with tortilla chips or a sliced baguette. Serves a whole bunch of regular people, or a handful of extremely ravenous women.

Tips: Cut the recipe in half for small slow cookers or a smaller crowd.
Forgot to bring the cream cheese to room temp? Just drop it in, then give it a quick stir halfway through cooking time to make sure your ingredients cook together.

Apologies to Laurel for not getting any good pictures of her tableware or food. Vodka can do that to a person’s camera-steadying hand.