Big, fat, bursting-at-the-seams burrito --and this is just half of it.

Ever notice how you can eat more Tex-Mex food than seems like it ought to be possible? Sometimes it dawns on you that you went through three refills of the tortilla chip basket at El Lardo’s before the entrees even arrived. And, not that it counts as real food, but how many –and be honest– Taco Bell Value Menu items can you eat before you actually feel full?

And correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s twice that when no one’s watching, right?

The reason those foods leave you so unsatisfied is because they lack substance. The two tablespoons of tasteless filling in a take-out taco that’s plumped up with watery iceberg lettuce is no value; I don’t care which part of the menu it’s on.

One of the genius things about a real, homemade burrito is the fact that it’s ultra-quick food, and if it’s done right, it’s mucho filling. Just one of these hefty babies, and I guarantee you’ll be satisfied.

A full half cup of slow cooked black beans packs a wallop of fiber: 7 1/2 grams, which is as much as two apples. (Which would you rather eat?)

Grilling these overstuffed burritos on a griddle with non-stick spray makes them crunchy on the outside and lets the cheese melt into a gooey perfection. It’s like a cross between a burrito and a quesadilla. A burritodilla, if you will. Or maybe a quesadita?

I can’t think of a better use for your leftover slow-cooked refried beans, other than eating a just-cooked bowl on their own, of course.

Eat two. I dare you.

Grilled Overstuffed Black Bean Burrito Recipe

Ingredients:

6 large-sized tortillas (10″)
3 cups slow-cooked refried black beans, hot from the slow cooker or reheated
1 1/2cups shredded cheese (I used a 2% milk Mexican blend)
1/4 cup raw red onion, minced very fine
1 small bunch cilantro, chopped

Directions: Place 1/2 cup of refried black beans just below the middle of each tortilla. Top with cheese, onions, and cilantro. Fold in sides and then roll up tortillas, tucking in the ingredients tightly as you go. Coat a griddle or large skillet with non-stick spray and cook each burrito a few minutes on each side until golden brown, pressing down slightly with a spatula. Serves 6.

If you don’t have a griddle large enough to cook all or several of your burritos at once, wrap the cooked ones in foil to keep them warm while you cook the others. Serve with all the usual suspects: sour cream or thick Greek yogurt, sliced avocado, salsa, hot peppers. These also reheat like a dream in the microwave.

For whom does the Taco Bell toll? Not me.

Slow-cooked black beans are mashed in their cooking liquid right in the crock-pot.

Beans are often overlooked as a gourmet food, or is it just me? That attitude could be the result of my Appalachian upbringing. Where I come from, especially during my childhood, beans were “poor people food.” When money was tight, a big pot of pinto beans could be made to last for days on end, until you couldn’t stand the sight of them anymore.

Or maybe it was all the schoolyard ribbing about beans. Admitting to eating beans was akin to saying you were covered in cooties and your family worships Beelzebub as far as eight-year-olds are concerned, and the ostracism was severe.

Not to mention that when kids recited the rhyme that begins “Beans, beans, good for the heart,” they weren’t touting cardiovascular health.

Whatever the cause, I was a latecomer to the intentional consumption of beans, but that doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of carrying the bean-lovers’ card. Sometimes those who come late to the party are the ones who have the most fun.

Slow cooking black beans, then mashing them right in the slow cooker in the liquid they cooked in seems to impart an almost sweet taste. Even without the literal refrying, the texture is thick and the taste is rich.

Don’t be fooled into thinking you have to pre-soak. You can if you want to, and reduce your cooking time, but the best thing about a long cook time is being able to slow cook the beans while you go to work, shop, or sleep off a hangover.

The “pre-soaking beans is necessary to decrease gas” thing is overhyped. Yes, some people are more susceptible than others to the musical quality of legumes, but most people who eat lots of veggies and fiber regularly won’t see any significant difference in pre-soaked or non-pre-soaked. I promise!

Rick Bayless agrees with me, and so do Mexican cooks. You won’t catch anyone in Mexico pre-soaking beans, unless they happened to learn their cooking skills in America. Stop pre-soaking. Let your beans cook long and slow in the crock-pot.

No need to pre-soak. Put the dried beans right in your slow cooker.

Slow Cooker Refried Black Beans Recipe

Ingredients:

1 lb. dried black beans, rinsed and sorted
2-3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 red onion, chopped
1 tsp. cumin
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and chopped (omit to decrease spiciness –you can let guests control their heat with sauce or peppers later)
Salt and pepper to taste (omit salt if using canned broth)
6 cups water or vegetable broth

Directions: Combine all ingredients in crock of slow cooker and cook on high 6-8 hours, or until beans are soft. Resist the temptation to lift the lid to peek or stir until beans have reached the low side of the cooking time range. After checking for doneness, leave covered as much as possible.

When beans are cooked through, use a ladle to remove excess liquid from the beans and set aside. Use a potato masher (or a clean can) to mash the beans to the desired consistency, using some of the reserved liquid as needed.

You can serve the beans immediately, or save in a sealed container in the refrigerator for up to a week. You can reheat the beans in a skillet with nonstick spray or olive oil as you need them, or quick-zap burritos for emergency meals.

The best way to eat these? Straight out of the bowl. They’re that good. And I’m not afraid to tell it to a schoolyard full of eight-year-olds.

Hey, kids! I eat beans! And I like ‘em. (Then I’ll duck, lest I feel the old familiar dodge ball sting.)

Savory slow cooker white bean soup.

“What should I make in the slow cooker?” I asked the fiance.

“Soup.”

He didn’t even look up or hesitate. And he was right. I’ve teased soup out of the old Rival crockpot dozens and dozens of times, from chunky seafood chowders to creamy pumpkin purees, but I haven’t done it in a good, long time.

I realized that I’ve become so enamored of all the unusual and surprising things that can be done with a slow cooker, that I lost my grip on the things it does best. There are two: soup and dried beans. It was high time I did both for Crock Tease, and all in one recipe, to show off the crockpot at its best.

Following on the heels of the previous night’s party , soup sounded like a wonderful hangover cure as well. Steamy broth beats hair of the dog hands down, no matter what anyone tells you. It even slightly beats Water Joe, the brilliant caffeinated water product I once proclaimed the world’s greatest hangover drink. (You know how you can’t decide which you need more, water or coffee, so you alternately guzzle both? Water Joe is both. It has sadly disappeared from the store where I once bought it.)

There are a lot of slow cooker bean recipes that involve opening cans, and that’s okay. Sometimes convenience rules. Do yourself a favor and cook the real deal once in a while, though. The slow cooker does the tough work, it’s cheaper, lower in sodium, and –most importantly– slow cooked beans taste ten times better. Making the soup right in the pot in which the dried beans cook takes advantage of the flavorsome juice that lingers in the crock (known as “bean liquor”).

Top each bowl with a drizzle of extra-virgin olive oil, shaved Parmesan and cracked pepper and the soup will look fine Italian restaurant-quality. Eat as a meal, or serve as a sophisticated starter to an Italian dinner.

Slow Cooker Italian Herb White Bean Soup Recipe

1 lb. dried white beans (Great Northern or Cannellini)
6 cups vegetable broth (about 3 cans)
2 cups water
4 cloves garlic, minced
4 green onions, chopped
3/4 cup roasted red peppers, sliced
1 Tbsp fresh thyme (1 tsp dried)
1 Tbsp fresh rosemary (1 tsp dried)
Juice of 1/2 lemon (about 1 Tbsp)
Salt and coarse ground black pepper to taste

For topping: Coarse ground black pepper, olive oil, shaved Parmesan

Directions: Combine ingredients in crock of your slow cooker. Cover and cook on low for 7-8 hours or high for 3½-4 hours. To serve, drizzle a tablespoon of olive oil over each bowl, then top with shaved Parmesan and black pepper to taste.

Tips: Depending on how hot your slow cooker gets (or how many times you sneak a peak and lose moisture), you might need extra liquid to make your soup soupy. Just add extra broth or water as needed –and stop peeking!

Best hangover cure ever. Have you heard? Bean soup is the new Water Joe.